Meh

Meh.  This is how I feel.  I still feel coma-ish, like I don't feel like doing any work.  Teaching these classes is the main reason I'm here and they just seem like a pain in my ass.  And I wish I had more guidance with them - it's hard to plan lessons because I just have no idea what to do with the students.  Generally I don't have trouble being creative like that but I just feel low on mental energy.  Last Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were "holidays" but not really, because they just reschedule the classes for the weekends.  Have I talked about this already? I dunno - so it is Sunday and I have two classes.  The same thing will happen next week.  "Holiday" during the week then classes for two weekends to make up for it.  So I feel all confused about what day it is and what I should be doing.  I think I am low on piano-endorphins.  Damn.  That's probably what it is.  I haven't been homesick yet though. Watch me get really homesick tonight now that I've admitted it.  I'm having fun with African Boy but I don't know if I like him because I like him or if, like Dad reminded me, my biological clock is winning over my intellectual one.  Maybe the latter but I feel like my power to control that situation is nonexistent. 
In other general news, China is crazy.  There are so many people here.  Everywhere is crowded at all times.  And I'm like a superstar.  People notice me wherever I go and always want to talk to me.  I could be a total loser and they would probably still think I was cool because I'm American and have curly hair.  Weird.  All the students are cheerful and optimistic but I wonder how much is genuine.  Like, "I am an Arabic major because I didn't do well enough on my examinations to be an English major, but I believe that I will like Arabic and I will work hard to improve myself and do well at this University.  I hope we can all become very good friends."
...really? 
or are you just saying that?
Of course if you said that to yourself enough times you would start believing it even if it wasn't true in the first place.  So I guess that's cool.  I dunno...I just feel like there's this layer of politeness or something that prevents me from having satisfying conversations with any of my students.  Or any of the Chinese teachers or administrators.  Like I wouldn't be comfortable chillin' with them.  Or if I told them anything personal about me they would blush and cover their mouths.  Hm....
Sorry no pictures yet, but my camera is sort of on the fritz.  I'm working on it.