Last week's Friday afternoon class with my post-undergrads. I've written Easter-themed limericks to use as a competition/challenge activity. I've already explained the structure of a limerick, the rhythm and rhyme scheme and all. But they end up being harder than I anticipated, and I am talking to one student individually, trying to help him find the answer to one. You should also know that this student is very sweet and happy, bald, has one wonky eye, and when he giggles sort of looks like Buddha. For some reason this impacts the funniness of the situation:
"On Easter it can be quite funny
For children do not receive money.
Instead when they wake,
There isn't a cake,
But chocolate left by a _____."
Student: umm...rabbit?
Me: right, right! like, rabbit! but, another name for 'rabbit'
Student: what? uh...there is another name for 'rabbit'?
Me: yeah and it rhymes with 'funny'. The answer has to rhyme with 'funny' and 'money'.
Student: oh yeah. honey?
Me: right right! 'honey' rhymes with 'funny'. But that's not the answer. 'Honey' can't leave chocolate for children.
Student: oooooh, ok...I got it...COOKIE!
Me: *a moment's attempt to contain laughter* **fail, laugh in student's face**
I think I'll spend more time working on rhymes before I try this activity again.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Conditioner
Today at a supermarket I bought a bottle of hair conditioner, cuz I was out. Western brands float around occasionally, but 120 yuan for a bottle of familiar stuff is hard to do when the Chinese brands are like 30 yuan. I have been using Loreal (which I would never even consider using in the States), because it's the only thing I've found here meant for curly hair, and I've liked it alright. But my hair has been doing funny things lately, and it's getting hotter, so I thought I needed a change. Anyway I saw this brand displayed with the other Chinese brands but that had English labeling and looked "normal", claiming to be from a Hollywood hairstylist, that was only 45 yuan. So I figured I had found a deal, some random Western brand at Chinese prices. Then I got it home and read the label, which I like to do, expecting standard conditioner-bottle talk, and found this:
George Caroll is an internationally acclaimed Hollywood hairstylist, television personality, entertainment and beauty industry consultant, and award winning beauty product designer. George has been helping the stars and celebrities for years, now its your turn. (no suspiciousness until the missing ' in 'it's'...but then...)
Is Your hair becoming a chemical products factory test it? As the wind, and Latin America, dyeing, hot inevitably damage the hair. you need a more in-depth professional hair care. Coenzyme QIO is the cell respiration and metabolism of the cell activator, is also an important antioxidant and non-specific immune enhancer. it is the growth of cells in the body of natural nutrients, add in the Hair-care products can be quickly and fully absorbed, hair nourishment from the source. Now, you no longer damaged hair for the Conservation of trouble.
So is this really an imported product? Or is it faux?! I feel so deceived!
Regardless, I want you to know that I do not mean to mock this Chinglish. I mean to study and appreciate its unique method of expression.
George Caroll is an internationally acclaimed Hollywood hairstylist, television personality, entertainment and beauty industry consultant, and award winning beauty product designer. George has been helping the stars and celebrities for years, now its your turn. (no suspiciousness until the missing ' in 'it's'...but then...)
Is Your hair becoming a chemical products factory test it? As the wind, and Latin America, dyeing, hot inevitably damage the hair. you need a more in-depth professional hair care. Coenzyme QIO is the cell respiration and metabolism of the cell activator, is also an important antioxidant and non-specific immune enhancer. it is the growth of cells in the body of natural nutrients, add in the Hair-care products can be quickly and fully absorbed, hair nourishment from the source. Now, you no longer damaged hair for the Conservation of trouble.
So is this really an imported product? Or is it faux?! I feel so deceived!
Regardless, I want you to know that I do not mean to mock this Chinglish. I mean to study and appreciate its unique method of expression.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Corolla
I don't know what made me think of it, but I just thought of my little Toyota, and I think it might be the first time it's crossed my mind since I left it. It must be so lonely, sitting on the hill at the lake house collecting spiders and rust! Did I even leave it at the lake house?! I can't remember how I left it! I bet nobody has driven it. What a sad life for a perfectly good car! I feel like I've betrayed it, not even thinking about it, or hoping it's OK. I'm a bad car owner. It will probably break down next time I try to drive it, out of resentment.
Oh yeah, that's how I thought of it - I was thinking, how far away is Xiamen from Guangzhou? And then I thought, I think I know the geography of China better than the US. Like where the cities are and how long it would take via plane or train to get there. And then I thought, well that's because I don't travel so much in the states or need to look at maps all the time and check flight websites and weigh options and do research on worthwhile cities. And then I thought, no, I don't need to do those things, because I have a car in the states that just takes me where I need to go but I don't usually worry about venturing too far out of the northeast. And then I thought...my car!
I can picture it with an Asian-style frowny face, with tilted narrow eyes and flat mouth and maybe wearing a big printed hairbow on its side mirror, and saying, Zuo yi? ni zui jin zai naaaa li? Shen me shi hou hui lai?
Oh yeah, that's how I thought of it - I was thinking, how far away is Xiamen from Guangzhou? And then I thought, I think I know the geography of China better than the US. Like where the cities are and how long it would take via plane or train to get there. And then I thought, well that's because I don't travel so much in the states or need to look at maps all the time and check flight websites and weigh options and do research on worthwhile cities. And then I thought, no, I don't need to do those things, because I have a car in the states that just takes me where I need to go but I don't usually worry about venturing too far out of the northeast. And then I thought...my car!
I can picture it with an Asian-style frowny face, with tilted narrow eyes and flat mouth and maybe wearing a big printed hairbow on its side mirror, and saying, Zuo yi? ni zui jin zai naaaa li? Shen me shi hou hui lai?
Monday, April 11, 2011
Dragging
1. I am feeling worthless as a teacher and like I just don't know what to teach these kids that is meaningful. I need training. All of us feel like this I guess but it's so uncomfortable for me. I just want to do a good job and I don't know how. I feel like as I go along, instead of teaching getting easier and easier, it's getting harder and harder as I realize all the ways I could improve. Like every class I think of another thing I could have done or another way I could have included this-or-that thing or how I should have offered praise instead of indifference or this activity guideline I failed to mention or how I could have corrected that girl's pronunciation or how I could have included those two students sitting in the back. I feel like the ridiculousness of this program is just solidifying any bad habits or ineffective teaching techniques I may have acquired, so that if in the future I go to do this kind of work again I'll have to rid myself of f-ed up things before I can learn the right way to handle situations.
2. Pictures:
4. This semester there are nine new Korean exchange students and the other day we invited two of them to have dim sum in Gongbei with us. They are totally cute and so obviously not Chinese by the way they are dressed and groomed, and one of them looks like the Asian Liv Tyler. Anyway after dim sum we went to the underground mall to get pedicures and I was talking to the one, Hee Won, who told me that she spent 8 months in Toronto studying English and once went to Buffalo, NY. I come to China and meet people from Korea who have been to the same upstate city where my brother currently resides. Weird?
Then she told me that she is Catholic, and that about 50% of Koreans are Christian, the other half Buddhist. Today I, in disbelief, asked my Chinese tutor about it, and she said, no way, the Korean girl probably just said that because small countries around China used to be under Chinese control and they are a now a little resentful of it, so they exaggerate things that make them seem un-Chinese, like the percentage of people who identify as Christians. Problem with this is that I get the impression that the Chinese are resentful of not having more cultural capital in East Asia and would probably say something like that about Korea in order to make themselves seem like the ones in control. I don't really know, obviously. I just had the urge to write something insensitive and ignorant like, well it doesn't matter, the US is still in first place anyway. I've been having these urges a lot lately.
4. There is a bird outside who has been singing "C,D,B-flat" OVER AND OVER (yes I checked the pitches and yes the bird happens to be using the same system of tonality as my increasingly sad-sounding piano) for the past 3 days, night and day.
5. Cheikh has been in Guangzhou all week (long story) so I stole his bike and have been using it to go places that would take me like 4 minutes to walk to. Even though it squeaks, and my pants always get stuck on rough edges, and the basket is too broken to hold things, and I've had to take it to the repair shop twice in 7 days, and every time I go over a speed bump I feel like it's going to fall apart underneath me, I still feel this nice sense of freedom when I get on it. Like today, after my morning obligation (office hours in place of a class ((because my name is at the end of the alphabet)) which nobody ever comes to) I decided to ride into Tangjia to get some stuff, which I never would have done if I didn't have the bike. On the way back I stopped at this little clothing shop I always pass - and by clothing shop, I mean, little garage with racks of mostly cheap and hideous articles for about $7 apiece - and found this really cute dress. When I tried to bargain with the woman to buy it, which is generally expected and necessary, she did bargain with me a little bit but seemed really sad about it. And I was like, weird, usually they seem so satisfied when the foreigner knows to bargain. Then when I got home I went to try the dress on in front of my mirror and noticed that there was no tag and the inside seams were un-surged and the gathering at the waist was a little uneven, and then I realized, the little shop had sewing machines and bolts of fabric all over. So this lady must have made the dress herself and was sad to bargain because it was her frickin dress, AND I wore it tonight and it's totally cute and comfortable so it was probably worth what she was asking for it. So now I feel really bad cuz I bargained with this poor Chinese woman for a dress she made herself.
6. My Chinese tutor taught me this: to say "piece of cake," as in, no problem, the equivalent and commonly used expression is, "xiao cai yi die," which literally means "small plate of appetizer." LOL.
2. Pictures:
 |
| Styrofoam, to be transported via bicycle |
 |
| Subway |
 |
| Snacks with tentacles |
 |
| Just your average metro station in Guangzhou on a Monday |
 |
| Dude wearing a chicken. I don't even know what he was trying to advertise/sell. |
Then she told me that she is Catholic, and that about 50% of Koreans are Christian, the other half Buddhist. Today I, in disbelief, asked my Chinese tutor about it, and she said, no way, the Korean girl probably just said that because small countries around China used to be under Chinese control and they are a now a little resentful of it, so they exaggerate things that make them seem un-Chinese, like the percentage of people who identify as Christians. Problem with this is that I get the impression that the Chinese are resentful of not having more cultural capital in East Asia and would probably say something like that about Korea in order to make themselves seem like the ones in control. I don't really know, obviously. I just had the urge to write something insensitive and ignorant like, well it doesn't matter, the US is still in first place anyway. I've been having these urges a lot lately.
4. There is a bird outside who has been singing "C,D,B-flat" OVER AND OVER (yes I checked the pitches and yes the bird happens to be using the same system of tonality as my increasingly sad-sounding piano) for the past 3 days, night and day.
5. Cheikh has been in Guangzhou all week (long story) so I stole his bike and have been using it to go places that would take me like 4 minutes to walk to. Even though it squeaks, and my pants always get stuck on rough edges, and the basket is too broken to hold things, and I've had to take it to the repair shop twice in 7 days, and every time I go over a speed bump I feel like it's going to fall apart underneath me, I still feel this nice sense of freedom when I get on it. Like today, after my morning obligation (office hours in place of a class ((because my name is at the end of the alphabet)) which nobody ever comes to) I decided to ride into Tangjia to get some stuff, which I never would have done if I didn't have the bike. On the way back I stopped at this little clothing shop I always pass - and by clothing shop, I mean, little garage with racks of mostly cheap and hideous articles for about $7 apiece - and found this really cute dress. When I tried to bargain with the woman to buy it, which is generally expected and necessary, she did bargain with me a little bit but seemed really sad about it. And I was like, weird, usually they seem so satisfied when the foreigner knows to bargain. Then when I got home I went to try the dress on in front of my mirror and noticed that there was no tag and the inside seams were un-surged and the gathering at the waist was a little uneven, and then I realized, the little shop had sewing machines and bolts of fabric all over. So this lady must have made the dress herself and was sad to bargain because it was her frickin dress, AND I wore it tonight and it's totally cute and comfortable so it was probably worth what she was asking for it. So now I feel really bad cuz I bargained with this poor Chinese woman for a dress she made herself.
6. My Chinese tutor taught me this: to say "piece of cake," as in, no problem, the equivalent and commonly used expression is, "xiao cai yi die," which literally means "small plate of appetizer." LOL.
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